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二 姐
   

  

  二 姐

  

  ——琢璞

  

  

    

  妻子的二姐在吉林敦化。十八岁那年嫁到一河之隔的邻村,第二年就和丈夫去了关东。听说走的时候,跪在娘的膝下哭得起不来,就像和一家人生死离别一样。

  八二年,她第一次从关东回来,是给娘送葬。娘是刚刚过完正月的一天清晨突然发现去世的,后来都猜疑是脑溢血或心肌梗塞一类的病。头天还好好的,别的病不会这么快。去了一封加急电报,二姐在路上十天多,回来只见到了娘的坟!前三天,每天都要到村后大岭前娘的坟前哭,陪的姐妹劝了又劝才能劝回来。

  这一年,她四十三岁!照她哭的话:“我的命苦呀,从十八我就没有了娘呀!”而她,已经是三个儿子、两个闺女的娘了,这一次回来,只带了最小的女儿。

  二姐,高身材,大脚板,在农村算得上标准的媳妇,是那种里里外外都能料理得特别利索的女人。提起她,姊妹们都会发自内心的由衷钦佩。

  去年,电视在热播由山东摄制的一部叫《闯关东》的电视剧,反映的就是那个年代的故事,细看的会知道背景。在那个年代,老家这边很穷,一个村一年到头能填饱肚子的没有几家。就是当地人说的:“关东好混呗,人总不能等着饿死吧!”都说那边的地多,有地种就能产粮食,粮食有了就不会饿肚子,明白得不能再明白的道理。当然了,那《闯关东》的内容要宽泛的多。具体到,人在那边怎么混,就只有闯在那边的人知道了。但,有一点:就是叶落归根呀,根在哪,心就在哪!爹娘在山东,心就在山东,所以那种思乡情,其怅惘,其无奈,其伤感,就只能埋在心里了!

  二姐去的地方是吉林敦化的三河,开始家里人怎么能知道那里的情况呢!最早三姐去过一趟,肯定是爹娘让去的。至今一提二姐,三姐还说:“那地方俺去一看就傻了,老远看见在草丛里有几间草房子,像咱这边的牛棚。俺就哭了,娘哟,都知道二姐在东北,这就是二姐住的房子吗!哭够了,俺才进二姐的家门。”从三姐的描述里,可以想象,那时敦化的农村,比老家也好不到那儿去。所以,那时三姐回来一说,可就成了全家人,特别是爹娘的一块心病了!

  二姐再次回来,是九五年。这一次是和大闺女、最小的外孙女回来的。也是又过了十三个年头了。她说,趁爹还健在,决不能再像对待娘那样了,一定得在爹跟前多呆些日子。所以,这一次是三月份来的,五月份才走。这个时候,我都已经在县城参加工作安家了,接她们送她们都是我。并且我还在方便的时候,用车拉她们转了周遭。这时,我才真的和二姐熟。她的确像她们说的,是个很有心计、想的周到、敢做敢为的女人。她的酒量很大,来的日子,家境都好了,这一家那一家的请吃饭,不论谁敬酒她都是来者不拒,中午喝了下午照样喝,所以我们都佩服得五体投地。当然了,一有空她还是呆在爹面前,做做饭,帮爹洗洗衣服拆拆被,像是赎罪似的。有时,临睡给爹洗洗脚,爹都不好意思,她硬拉在怀里,像亲自己的脚!

  再走的时候,还是像第一次离家那样,趴在爹的跟前哭。送到兖州上火车,临上车,一手拉着最小的妹妹(我的妻子),嘱:“好好待爹,替姐尽孝!”一手扯着冬儿(四姐家的大儿子),又哭:“长大去看我呀!”他们回来说给全家,惹得一家人掉眼泪。

  这次回去,开始往回寄钱。一年几次。一百、二百不等。每次爹摸着的钱就不断地掉泪!我在一首叫《二姐》的诗里有一句“老爹每次摸着钱就像抚摸女儿的脸”!的确这样,看了,我们都站在一旁心酸!

  二年后的春天,一个二姐病危的电话打来了,怎么也意想不到的坏消息呀!家里没敢告诉爹,就偷偷让我的妻子和冬儿代表去了。他们回来说,二姐得了心脏病,很厉害,已经面黄肌瘦了。带回的照片我们也看了,确实和上一次来判若两人!两年以后,她去世了!因路远 ,加上她去的仓促,考虑去也见不上了,家里就没再派人去。

  刚才提到了,那时两边都已有了电话,外甥们有时也经常来个电话。二姐活着的时候,每一次接过电话,都会把这边在一旁的人滤一遍,那真是莫大的安慰!特别是和爹,他耳聋的很厉害,她在那边声音很大,说的话我们都听得到,常常是那头哭,这头的爹掉眼泪!所以,她去了,没派人去,也是全家人对她最大的歉疚!

  二姐的死,我们一直没告诉爹,都九十多的人了,不想让他受这个刺激!但爹默默的,也没去问,一直到他也去世!后来我们在一起谈论,其实一家人都心照不宣。爹一辈子精明,更悟不过来吗?他的内心,只是不想让这个梦破灭就是了!带着这样的梦,一直有个挂,可能是爹的真心吧!

  又一年,我们迎来了二姐夫。在电话里说的很清楚,他已得了肺癌,在那边就是闹腾着要回老家一趟。人像有先验似的,从走就没回过老家的他,可能已预感到将不久于世!这样的要求不是苛刻,而应当是一块心病!所以来回匆匆一个月,回去又两个月,也走了。

  真的,全家人一下子就觉得关东那边没有最亲近的人了。当然还有外甥们,并且都过的很好。但那心中的空缺感,能仅仅是空缺吗?

  去年夏天,我和妻子到东北有事路过长春,去的时候就定下计划,返回时一定要转到敦化。想法很清楚,就是想到二姐和姐夫的坟前看看,烧烧纸钱祭拜祭拜。并不是仅仅了却一番心愿,更是看看外甥们,让他们知道老家还有人来,叫他们也经常回山东看看。

  紧赶路到吉林时已很晚,只好住了一夜。第二天五点就开车走,三百多公里的路,用了六个小时。跑的是老国道,一旁的高速正在修。 车多是在山路上旋,速度提上六十公里的时候都很少。这会我才明白他们一辈子很少回去的原因!现在的路还好了,往前数十几年、几十年呢!听妻子的堂哥说,二姐第一次来,走的时候是他用手推车把她娘俩送到县城的,再坐通兖州的班车,才到兖州火车站。后来,二姐也告诉我们,回去的时候可受了罪:在兖州等了四天的火车才有票,上了车又没座,就在车座底下躺了三天三夜,那还仅到吉林。在吉林一等又五天,才乘班车到了敦化,次一天晚上才进家。想想吧,推着手推车走坑坑洼洼的四十五里土路到县城,现在听起来是不是天方夜谭呢!

  现在外甥们大都在敦化市谋生计,并且买了像样的房子。在敦化稍一停,我们就奔三河了。三河是敦化的一个镇,二姐的村离镇驻地向北还有十几里,都是土路,看来那边的村村通还没搞。

  真的就看见他们的村,真的就看见他们的坟了!

  在距村子东约三里的一座山下,前后坐有五个坟头,其中并葬的稍显大点的那个,就是二姐和二姐夫的坟了。全为长草覆盖,后边有几棵又粗又高的马尾松,向前看是一片看似平坦的无垠的田地,种的全是玉米,苗才有两扎高,稀稀疏疏的,远看倒显一派葱绿!

  我流泪了,妻子更流泪了!我心里默念着:“二姐,二姐夫,小弟来看你们了!”···

p7月30日
  可是我突然发现方向不对头,抬头找太阳,太阳正在南天悬着呢!仔细一辨认,才弄明白:是山的北边,在阴面!我不解,问外甥,墓地怎么不选在山的朝阳呢?他们告诉我,都是爹娘生前自己选定的,只好遵从他们的选择了!我心里一惊:是吗?他们的选择?听说他们在东北的几十年,风俗都是遵从老家这边的,虽说这样也能背山面水,可···

  怎么了二姐、二姐夫?葬了都不肯葬向朝阳处,往老家方向多看一眼吗?你们的老家可在山前的正南方,还要一直向南去呀!

  永远也不能回家的离乡人呀,有什么难言之隐吗?家乡难道不足以再望一眼?还是不忍去再一望呀!

  就因为这一惊,去年我回来就写了一首叫《二姐》的诗。直到现在,还是意犹未尽,再一次写下《二姐》。这篇是小说?随笔?不要去深究,就算是对那首诗的一点解释吧。看完了的你,能想的更多吗?

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